Checken cross the road ?? Answered by some great peoples …

As answered by some well-known people:
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and he said unto the Chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesnt anyone ever think to ask “What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?”
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Rather, it is, “Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?”
CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over a great period of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didnt ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road and that was good enough for us.
NICCOLO MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road; it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

Stupid woman

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”
The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.
The mans wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”
The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
“Youre finished already?” he asked.
“Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
“And by the way,” the blonde added, “thats not a Porch, its a Ferrari.”

Blondes and bimbos

If blondes and bimbos were the same thing, the prefix bim could be used to create new words that describe them:

Bimbabble – noises coming from a group of blondes.
Bimbaffled – constant mental state of blondes.
Bimbait – short skirts, sheer blouses, string bikinis or other clothing worn by blondes in an attempt to attract the attention of males.
Bimbar – a bar where blondes hang out wearing bimbait.
Bimbag – a blondes purse.
Bimbrushes – essential equipment in a bimbag.
Bimbastic surgeon – specialist in breast enhancements for blondes.
Bimbeeper – special instrument used as a homing device for lost blondes.
Bimbellow – sound emanating from a blonde after she finally got the most recent blonde joke she heard.
Bimbillion – a blonde giving an estimate of anything.
Bimblaze – the result of a blonde trying to cook.
Bimblues – a blondes state of mind after her latest boyfriend ditched her.
Bimboette – a young blonde.
Bimbonese – language spoken by blondes, largely unintelligible to anyone else.
Bimbonique behavior – airhead behavior, unique to blondes.
Bimboozle – to fool a blonde.
Bimbore – a blonde who uses “like” more than 10 times in a sentence.
Bimbozo – another name for a blonde.
Bimboron – a blonde even less intelligent than most other blondes.
Bimbrownie – a well-tanned blonde.
Bimbrunette – a blonde who dyes her hair brunette, usually to appear smarter than she actually is.
Bimburden – blonde carrying too many bags at the mall.

What yu hunt …!!!

A hunter goes into the woods to hunt a bear. He carries his trusty 22-gauge rifle with him. After a while, he spots a very large bear, takes aim, and fires. When the smoke clears, the bear is gone. A moment later the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says, “No one shoots at me and gets away with it. You have two choices: I can rip your throat out and eat you, or you can drop your trousers, bend over, and Ill do you in the ass.” The hunter decides that anything is better than death, so he drops his trousers and bends over, and the bear does what he said he would do. After the bear has left, the hunter pulls up his trousers again and staggers back into town. Hes pretty mad. He buys a much larger gun and returns to the forest. He sees the same bear, aims, and fires. When the smoke clears, the bear is gone. A moment later the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says, “You know what to do.” Afterwards, the hunter pulls up his trousers, crawls back into town, and buys a bazooka. Now hes really mad. He returns to the forest, sees the bear, aims, and fires. The force of the bazooka blast knocks him flat on his back. When the smoke clears, the bear is standing over him and says, “Youre not doing this for the hunting, are you?”